Top Ten Hilarious Credits Related to Adult Entertainment

In part two of our series, IGTM explores the hilarious credits that accompany any film involving adult entertainers and/or sex workers. As always, we're only allowing one credit per movie, and if you find one that's better post it in the comments.

X) Heavy Metal Hooker 2 - The Mind - Cunty Ballz

IX) Asian Hooker 'German' - From Paris with Love - Yin Hang

VIII) The Erotic Samurai - A Study in the Orientation of Han Sum - G.R. Claveria

VII) Sexy Stud - Clerks II - Zak Knutson
VI) Meth Whore - Breaking Bad - Julia Minesci

V) Patty the Daytime Hooker - My Name is Earl - Dale Dickey

IV) Cyndi The Drive-By Hooker - Keaton's Cop - Claire Applegate

III) A Pimp Named Slickback - The Boondocks - Katt Williams

II) Mahogany Hall Prostitute - Louis - Ritchie Greer

I) Bucky the Crippled Stripper - Reno 911! - Kristina Hayes

Top Ten Hilarious Zombie-Related Credits

In what is the first of a multi-part series on hilarious credits that actors have on their resumes, IGTM presents you with the best of the Zombie-Related ones. I'm sure there's better ones out there, (my research lasted about as long as my can of Dr. Pepper), so if you find any good ones please post a comment, share the wealth, and stop being such a greedy bitch. As a general rule for this series, I will only allow one credit per movie since some movies have nothing but nonsensical credits. And now, the Top Ten:

X) Banjo Zombie - Zombieland - Chris Burns
IX) Parkour Zombie - Devil's Playground - Zayn Alam
VIII) Pyjama Zombie - Shaun of the Dead - Nick Ewans
VII) Hot Dog Zombie - Survival of the Dead - James Dunn
VI) Chanukah Zombie - Bender's Big Score - Mark Hamill
V) Rock 'N Roll Zombie - Vampire City 2: Rock 'N Roll Zombies from Outer Space - Richie Cobain
IV) Juggling Zombie - The Horror Vault 3 - Oihana Garde
III) Stapler Zombie - Zombie Office - Christopher Davies
II) Lt. Ferenczy Zombie - Re-Animator: 1942 - Conor Timmis
I) Reverend Zombie - Hatchet & Hatchet 2 - Tony Todd

Call the WAAmbulance

I'll admit that right now in my life, I'm going through quite a transitional phase. I've been doubting my career path, my social circle, and pretty much every decision I've made in the last ten years. Sure, to some this might seem like pointless whining, but then again it is my blog so I can pretty much do whatever I want, fuck you.

See what I did there, I said fuck... on the Internet. Can't get away with that shit in traditional print media.

One thing I've been doing to avoid stumbling into a terrible and angsty depression is work out a bit more doing that BeachBody Insanity workout from that dude from Hip-Hop Abs/P90X. It was pretty intense but I feel it defeated its purpose since afterwards I was so drained and hungry that I feasted all day.

I also think I'm going to attempt a beard, since I've never had the ability/time to grow real facial hair before, but secretly I just want a full beard so I can shave it into an amazing mustache.

Ah well, it's always good to know that no matter how down I feel these days, if my primary concern still has to do with hilarious mustaches, nothing THAT bad must be going on in my life. At least I'm not Benjamin Bratt or something.

I'm Back... I Guess

Well, after a brief/long/no one cares hiatus, it appears that I'm back (yay). The site will undergo a lot of format changes in the next few weeks/days/whenever I get lazy, and I'm sure everyone cares just a little bit. This is happy news though, Don't you wanna dance or sing or something just reading it?

I've decided to get rid of the daily themed posts as they were becoming an incredible hassle, and not really fun anymore, so I'm back to just putting up whatever content floats my boat. Sort of like this, a post that has no real purpose or meaning, just me typing. Ah, refreshing.

Sorry People, I'm On Haitus

Well, as it turns out I'm just a human, and as a human I can have lots of things on my plate. Right now, this plate is particularly full, so I need to get eating, so I'll be indefinitely taking a break from posting on here.

Don't cry little ones, it's not your fault (it totally is), but if everything goes to plan, I'll be showering the most faithful of you with hookers and blow. Wish me luck ;)

Ladies, I'll Never Judge You By The Company You Keep

Monday Maidens

I had never heard of Anna Kendrick before I saw Up In The Air, (why would I have? I don't did on sparkling vampires), but that performance certainly caused me to take notice. Not only because she's a cutie, although that was the initial reason, but she's actually a damn good actress too. Her delivery was nearly perfect, and I felt she carried the portion of the film she was in. Up In The Air only worked because all of the actors brought that layer of authenticity to their performances, and Anna's was one of the most important in the whole movie. Sure, she was in Twilight and that means she must be hated upon, but she's so damn innocent and adorable. I suggest we get her a pass just this once.

The other maiden today is none other than Isla Fisher, AKA Mrs. Borat. Quite the hilarious woman in her own right, a lot of people give her bonus points for being married to Sasha Baron Cohen. In some ways I suppose that's true, but I'm almost tempted to hold that against her. Sure, it's a sign that she has a good sense of humor, but that's already obvious from her comedic performances. Yes, he might be the world's most famous troll, but she is one awesome babe. If this is what trolls are taking home, I need to start hanging out under more bridges. PS: Watch Hot Rod. She's really not in it that much, but the movie is an underrated masterpiece.

They Don't Make Funny Like They Used To

Things of Awesome

I've always been a sucker for books by comedians. People erroneously assume they can't be talented writers, which is stupid as hell considering they're famous because of their ability to write jokes. It's not like they're athletes.

When handled in a candid way, these books make me feel like I'm getting to know the person behind the entertainer, and it's refreshing to know that even our heroes have struggled with everyday problems too.

In the last year I've read autobiographies from classic comedians Don Rickles and Rodney Dangerfield. The books have a similar format (a slightly chronological collection of stories), but these two take a different approach for presenting their worlds.

Rickles' Book is a nostalgic tour through entertainment history, and a fascinating look at the dilemmas of being the world's most lovable insult comic. Frequently imitated, but never trumped, the book makes it obvious that Rickles is a one-of-a-kind entertainer, and anyone should be jealous of the way he's managed to live his dream. The stories are amazing, although considering he was pretty tight with Frank Sinatra this shouldn't be surprising.

Dangerfield's book is MUCH more surprising, and although I'm not sure how I feel about it, certainly a good read. Rodney's life seems a lot more sombre, and although he was loved my many, his journey was certainly not an easy one. The book is quite inspirational since he never gave up on his dream, but holy hell some of his stories were just... weird. Dangerfield does talk a lot more about drug use and the seedier sides of the entertainment business, so you could call it more realistic, but how realistic was Rodney's life to begin with?

I certainly enjoyed Rickles' book more, but both are interesting reads if only for the different versions of showbiz they present. Plus you can't forget that they're two of the funniest people who ever existed, and their books certainly remind you that there will never be another comedian quite like either of them.

Humanity Has No Hope, Look At The Bones!

Animal News Saturday

The first assault happened without too much publicity. Hell, humanity didn't even realize we had entered a war until it was too late. Did we learn nothing from cartoons? No knowledge gained from Month Python? Our best and brightest tried to warn us, but as usual, the masses continued on their daily routines and ignored their cries. Now, it might be too late.

To those of you unfamiliar with the news, rabbits have taken over an island in Scotland. Yeah, it sounds sort of cute and hilarious, but these guys have managed to do some serious damage, and they don't even have access to ACME supplies yet...

"they’re burrowing into an ancient Iron Age funeral mound, destroying foundations, and eating the gardens that the island’s 20-odd residents depend on for sustenance."

They have their own island now? Why is no one else terrified? Isn't this how Australia got started?

Yeah, everyone likes rabbits, but we shouldn't be so naive as to dismiss this news as fluff. The media has trained us to ignore the rabbit threat and look upon these furry bastards favorably: Bugs was funny, Jessica was a babe, and Thumper got lots of tail. What's not to love?

Let's just take a moment and remember all of the rabbit assholes, shall we? Remember that serial killer from The Holy Grail? Or that mind-fuck artist from Donnie Darko? The torturous Duracell bunny?

Enough is enough. This aggression cannot stand, and I say we all suit up with our lucky rabbit's feet, and hunt these sons of bitches down. Today, humanity shall unite, and tonight we shall dine on rabbit stew... FOR SCOTLAND!!!!