Animal News Saturday
The first assault happened without too much publicity. Hell, humanity didn't even realize we had entered a war until it was too late. Did we learn nothing from cartoons? No knowledge gained from Month Python? Our best and brightest tried to warn us, but as usual, the masses continued on their daily routines and ignored their cries. Now, it might be too late.
To those of you unfamiliar with the news, rabbits have taken over an island in Scotland. Yeah, it sounds sort of cute and hilarious, but these guys have managed to do some serious damage, and they don't even have access to ACME supplies yet...
"they’re burrowing into an ancient Iron Age funeral mound, destroying foundations, and eating the gardens that the island’s 20-odd residents depend on for sustenance."
They have their own island now? Why is no one else terrified? Isn't this how Australia got started?
Yeah, everyone likes rabbits, but we shouldn't be so naive as to dismiss this news as fluff. The media has trained us to ignore the rabbit threat and look upon these furry bastards favorably: Bugs was funny, Jessica was a babe, and Thumper got lots of tail. What's not to love?
Let's just take a moment and remember all of the rabbit assholes, shall we? Remember that serial killer from The Holy Grail? Or that mind-fuck artist from Donnie Darko? The torturous Duracell bunny?
Enough is enough. This aggression cannot stand, and I say we all suit up with our lucky rabbit's feet, and hunt these sons of bitches down. Today, humanity shall unite, and tonight we shall dine on rabbit stew... FOR SCOTLAND!!!!
To those of you unfamiliar with the news, rabbits have taken over an island in Scotland. Yeah, it sounds sort of cute and hilarious, but these guys have managed to do some serious damage, and they don't even have access to ACME supplies yet...
"they’re burrowing into an ancient Iron Age funeral mound, destroying foundations, and eating the gardens that the island’s 20-odd residents depend on for sustenance."
They have their own island now? Why is no one else terrified? Isn't this how Australia got started?
Yeah, everyone likes rabbits, but we shouldn't be so naive as to dismiss this news as fluff. The media has trained us to ignore the rabbit threat and look upon these furry bastards favorably: Bugs was funny, Jessica was a babe, and Thumper got lots of tail. What's not to love?
Let's just take a moment and remember all of the rabbit assholes, shall we? Remember that serial killer from The Holy Grail? Or that mind-fuck artist from Donnie Darko? The torturous Duracell bunny?
Enough is enough. This aggression cannot stand, and I say we all suit up with our lucky rabbit's feet, and hunt these sons of bitches down. Today, humanity shall unite, and tonight we shall dine on rabbit stew... FOR SCOTLAND!!!!
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