T2: The Novel Judgment

I recently came into possession of an interesting little artifact, none other than the Terminator 2: Judgment Day novel by Randall Frakes (based on the screenplay by James Cameron & William Wisher).

These types of movie novelizations seem so pointless, but always exist which means they must be at least a little bit profitable. Hell, I even remember having the Men in Black novel after seeing the movie. What the heck was I expecting to gain insight on? Why Zed is so hilarious? More details about those hilarious worms? Whatever the hell that bounty hunter villain from the television show was?

To delve deeper into the curiosity I have about these novels, I decided to read a passage or two. This is the opening:

Sarah Jeanette Connor was driving across a vast and lonely landscape of cacti and sand toward a brooding range of mountains, shadowed by swollen rainclouds. Sheet lightning fired behind them like giant strobes. The promise of a storm was in the air.

Well... that was... much more... "Twilighty" than I remember the movie being. Maybe I'll skip towards some of the more memorable parts. OH, like Sarah Connor's escape maybe?

Sarah's eyes snapped into an alert intensity. She spat the paper clip out onto her chest, then groped for it, awkwardly spreading it open into a straight piece of wire. With slow, painful concentration she moved it toward the lock of the restraints that bound her wrists to the bed. This is not an easy thing to do. But Sarah had taught herself a lot of things in her years of hiding. This was one of them. Handy for getting out of police cuffs, she never thought she'd have to break out of asylum restraints.

Well, I officially give up on this nonsense. Oh what the hell, I have to at least read the end.

"I know now why you cry, although it is something I can never do."

He turned to Sarah and said, "Good-bye."

"Are you afraid?"

There was the briefest instant before he responded. "Yes," he said. Not because he was going to cease functioning as a terminator, but because he had sensed a vision beyond his programming of a cosmic order vast beyond even Skynet's comprehension. And it gave him the sense of his first feeling.

Fear.

Of where he was going next, if anywhere.

Of course, he hadn't been asked for further details on his answer, so he didn't say any of this. He simply turned and stepped off the edge.

As Terminator fell, time stretched, and a flash of light engulfed his mind. He was floating down a tunnel, following the flash of light into something like oblivion.

Or salvation.

Whoa really? God damn what the hell was this guy thinking? This scene wasn't exactly groundbreaking, but c'mon Arnold floating down a tunnel? Last time someone took that much liberty with something, we ended up with a film called Dungeons and Dragons, that had little similarity to the game Dungeons and Dragons, other than the presence of both Dungeons and Dragons.

Long story short this book, which I only skimmed insignificant portions of, doesn't even have "it's so bad it's good value", and I'm one of those sickos that loves the Mario Bros. movie.