Scientists have discovered a species of giant lizard as long as a full-grown man is tall and endowed with a double penis.
Wait, so not only does this thing have two cocks, but it's man-size? Are the cocks proportional? How come this stuff wasn't covered in Avatar? Can we refer to this thing as being "dual-penised"?
The secretive but brightly-coloured beast, a monitor lizard, is a close cousin of the Komodo Dragon of Indonesia. Unlike the fearsome Dragon, it is not a carnivore, nor does it feast on rotting meat. Instead, it is entirely peaceable and tucks into fruit.
The lizard has unique markings and an unusual sexual anatomy, according to the study.
Its scaly body and legs are a blue-black mottled with pale yellow-green dots, while its tail is marked in alternating segments of black and green. Males have a double penis, called hemipenes, also found in some snakes and other lizards.
The two penises are often used in alternation, and sometimes contain spines or hooks that serve to anchor the male within the female during intercourse.
One reason that the new lizard has gone undetected, the researchers speculate, is that it never leaves the forests of its native Sierra Madre mountains to traverse open spaces.
The secretive but brightly-coloured beast, a monitor lizard, is a close cousin of the Komodo Dragon of Indonesia. Unlike the fearsome Dragon, it is not a carnivore, nor does it feast on rotting meat. Instead, it is entirely peaceable and tucks into fruit.
I dislike the idea of something with two dicks being "peaceable". That word doesn't have nearly enough testosterone.
The species is almost certainly critically endangered, and might well have disappeared entirely without ever being catalogued had a large male specimen not been rescued alive from a hunter last June.
Endangered? The thing has two penises! He should be filling more holes than a caulking gun. Hehe, caulk.
The lizard has unique markings and an unusual sexual anatomy, according to the study.
Its scaly body and legs are a blue-black mottled with pale yellow-green dots, while its tail is marked in alternating segments of black and green. Males have a double penis, called hemipenes, also found in some snakes and other lizards.
Isn't a snake with two penises really just a stick figure with no arms?
The two penises are often used in alternation, and sometimes contain spines or hooks that serve to anchor the male within the female during intercourse.
Holy hell that has to be painful, maybe that's where the idea for that strap-on in Se7en came from.
One reason that the new lizard has gone undetected, the researchers speculate, is that it never leaves the forests of its native Sierra Madre mountains to traverse open spaces.
What? Oh sorry I stopped listening once it got boring again. Well, that was it mostly. I cut out some of the extended parts I really couldn't give two-shits about, but I linked to the whole article at the top so if you really care check it out.
Well, that was informative. I learned that snakes and lizards can be way more awesome than I previously assumed; I learned that snakes have penises and don't just tip their tails into lady snakes; and most importantly I learned that even things overloading with cock can still be pussified enough to be vegetarians.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment